Many women now face the problem of alcoholism in the family. "My husband drinks every day, what should I do? ", "My husband has been drinking for 10 days, how should we behave? " - these questions have been heard more and more often lately. Of course, the husband is an alcoholic - it's scary. And drunken alcoholism, if left untreated, is generally capable of turning life into eternal torture. But here you must always remember that alcoholism is a disease, and not a personal choice of a certain person. A sick person obviously needs the support of loved ones, especially when he can not cope with the problem himself. But, as a rule, when the husband drinks, the wife suffers first. And in such moments the question often arises: what to do when the husband is having fun? There are few ways to get out of this situation: leave it and get a divorce, or try to fight for your life and help your boyfriend. Although we can say with confidence that this fight will not be easy. But the decision here has to be made by the woman herself, no advice from a psychologist will help. Only she herself can decide what she wants and what she can do to achieve her goal.
Tough decision
Divorce is the simplest and easiest solution. Thus, a woman seems to free herself from responsibility for a man's future fate. But in this case, you have to adhere to a certain behavior. The main thing here: if you decide to leave, leave. Whatever the conviction or prayer, it is important to know that an alcoholic's promises cannot be trusted. He will do everything to convince his wife: burst into tears, gives gifts, falls to his knees. If that doesn't work, he could very well use violence or blackmail. Therefore, you should not follow his path, because believing this once, you can provoke the repeated repetition of such concerts. And they can last more than a week, even more than a month. The advice of a psychologist in this case is vague: you need to make a firm decision, clearly convey this to your husband, do not believe in promises and do not give in to regret. We must always remember that no matter how bad a man is, a woman will be twice as bad.
If the choice is made in terms of fighting and helping the closest person, then the woman will have to be patient. The most important thing in this case is to understand why the man started drinking, and then go deeper into solving this problem. Today, there are many ways to distract a person from drinking alcohol.
First of all, you need to learn how to behave correctly. If your spouse has started drinking more often and periodically goes overdrinking, you can try to change tactics. After all, he is confident that once he returns home, he will face another scandal with tears and chopping of dishes. Or maybe he will be greeted by deadly silence and icy contempt? In any case, you should try to change: to become more loving, to surround him with attention and care, to try to open to him other joys of life, besides drinking alcohol. Often this behavior confuses men and then it is much easier to deal with them. At the very least, you will protect yourself and your children from unwarranted aggression and save your nerves.
Second, you should try to protect believers from his drinking friends. Indeed, most often a man drinks vodka for company, or out of loneliness. When drinking, men have very low self-esteem. It seems to them that no one needs them anymore and they are not suitable for anything. Try to prove how wrong he is:
- to show that he is the head of the family, its hope and support and that without his participation everything can collapse;
- focus his attention on children who find it psychologically difficult to live with a father who drinks alcohol;
- to conquer it with new interests and hobbies.
Covariance
It may happen that a woman is not able to leave her alcoholic husband. There may be many reasons for this, but she still needs to understand how to live.
There is such a thing as interdependence, when a woman, willingly or unwillingly, falls into social or physical dependence on her husband, trying to pull him out of the hole and return him to the family. This usually happens when a woman has a strong emotional connection to another. Only an experienced psychologist can help here.
There are clear signs by which the presence of interdependence can be judged:
- the wife takes responsibility for her husband's health, well-being and well-being;
- tries to please her husband by doing all the work for him;
- feels the need to help her husband with problems, generally to solve problems for him;
- justifies the inappropriate behavior of the spouse in front of others;
- feels guilty about what happened to her husband;
- close your eyes to the problem, believing that everything that is not done is for the better;
- falls into the same dependence on alcohol, not having the strength to resist;
- considers himself a victim who pays for past sins;
- physically or emotionally attached to a spouse.
What to do about a woman when her husband is having fun
There are many reasons why men go on long flirts. Here are the main ones:
- not wanting to resist addiction;
- family conflicts;
- inability to cope with stress.
Everyone knows that alcohol causes a feeling of euphoria, thus developing one of the strongest addictions in man, which he may not want to overcome. Weak mentality and willpower can also be one of the reasons for strong drinking. And if the stressful situation at home or at work is of a long-term nature, then a person can drink almost every day.
Denial of alcoholism is a problem for all alcoholics. You can constantly hear all sorts of excuses, like p. sh. : "Yes, I'm alcoholic and I like it! " Or "I do not drink for no reason. "Drinking never admits that he is addicted, he seems to be able to quit drinking as many times as he wants. But in fact, it all ends with another merriment, after which the reassurances of oneself and everyone around resume on the stability of the character.
What to do in such a situation is not difficult to understand - to be unequivocally addressed. But what a woman should not do is definitely worth knowing. Not worth it:
- look for excuses for his heavy drinking;
- hide the problem, wearing the needle, trying to show that he is not who he is;
- to justify the spouse in front of colleagues or bosses for the fact that he does not work or is systematically delayed;
- drink with your spouse so he or she gets less;
- give drinks at home, as long as he does not drink on the street;
- to wash and cleanse after him the consequences of his alcoholic intoxication;
- buy alcohol;
- blackmail with sexual intercourse;
- threaten divorce;
- treat her husband secretly by him.
There are various ways that can help to get a person out of his mood:
- drug solutions;
- folk remedies;
- psychological assistance and rehabilitation program;
- prayer or conspiracy against alcoholism.
Easy fun
With such an initial stage of alcohol dependence, you can try to switch to popular methods to get rid of cravings. It is also good that the treatment can be performed at home. The first thing you need to do is let the patient sleep and then rest in bed. It is recommended to drink plenty of fluids to restore the water-salt balance in the body. In this case, various fruit drinks, herbal infusions and decoctions are suitable. You can also take a contrast bath, herbal baths, massages and other procedures aimed at improving and restoring the body. It is not worthwhile to seek the help of medical intervention without consulting a specialist, otherwise you can cause unforeseen complications.
Heavy drinking
When the pleasure lasts more than three days, you will most likely need the help of a narcologist. A specialist can be called home. He will accurately assess the patient's condition and prescribe medication to be taken, carefully following the doctor's instructions.
Most often, to alleviate withdrawal symptoms, the home doctor places an IV drop, which helps cleanse the blood of alcohol toxins and ethanol breakdown products. It also often contains restorative and soothing ingredients. The fact is that a person who drinks too often becomes aggressive, panic or experiences inexplicable fear.
To calm him down and restore the nervous system after a treat, the doctor may consult classes with a psychologist and prescribe psychotropic medications.
Serious pleasure
Usually a heavy binge lasts a week or more. If the situation is practically out of control, or the person drinking alcohol has a history of chronic diseases, in this case only hospitalization of the patient in a narcological or toxicological clinic can help. Hospital treatment will help prevent the possible unpleasant consequences of a severe mood swing, which can manifest in the form of "delirium tremens" or alcoholic psychosis. In such a state, the patient is unable to control himself and can perform aggressive actions towards any member of the family, being in a state of insanity. Of course, it is advisable not to bring it up to this, but if suddenly withdrawal syndrome is very difficult, herbal treatment or prayer is a must. You need to go to the narcological hospital as soon as possible, otherwise you can cause serious damage to health, up to death.
conclusions
When a man is an alcoholic - it is a terrible grief for people close to him. They worry and suffer, even more than the sufferer himself. Sometimes life becomes so unbearable that you have to make a choice: save your family or your health. Rarely can a woman end a once happy family life, especially if she has children who still love their father. All she has left is to get her boyfriend out of this horrible trap. However, it is very difficult to do this alone and, in fact, it is not necessary. In this case, it can not be done without help and psychological support. The advice of an experienced specialist will show you how to behave correctly and what to do in order to get your husband out of the mood and return him to a normal life. It remains only to accumulate great patience and in no case despair, because despair can lead to hasty actions, for which you can then sincerely regret.